We are so blessed and excited to be able to have the chance for surgery. Yet there are so many scary things that come with it. There is a special soap that she has to use the night before and the morning of, there is a liquid that she has to drink the day before, a clear liquid diet that has to be followed the day before, What meds should now not be taken, no vitamin e, no garlic- just things we never thought about. Also, how do you pack for a surgery and hospital visit when there is a 50% chance that it could be a different surgery.
The most important thing that I learned is how to be medically spontaneous. I'm not the most spontaneous person, if you couldn't tell. :o) I have alot of responsibilities and like to make sure that each one is 100% covered. Right now, i'm a bit panicky about who is going to watch my dog (yes that's a picture of him in my old office) for all of the time that i'm staying in the hospital and if the good friend that i'm staying with in the city wont hate me after 3 nights haha.
Everyone in the family keeps asking - What can I do? How can I help? - It's sweet and frustrating at the same time. It's creates a bit of guilt for the patient as they really truly can't think of anything and feel bad about it. I can always think of something that someone can do- which is why no one will ask me, because i will truly come up with something :o) That's when you find out who really does want to help.
Recently I have been able to make a tiny schedule with my dad to have some sort of plan for the week. I will be there from 8am (opening for visitors) until he gets there after work- then I will switch off and stay at my friends. I am so lucky that my work is allowing me to work from the hospital - I didn't really give them a choice but I just heard of 10 more people being layed off-so that's always a concern.
But for my siblings and friends- the are asking for a schedule of who can come and when. It really isn't something that we can accomodate with so many unknowns. Its so important to keep our "game face" on. My suggestion is to have a few days open as an open about 3-4 days after surgery and call and find out how she is doing. That way, you can truly accomodate the patient. Anything else just isn't realistic- sweet and thoughtful, but really not accomodating the possibilities and leaves a large chance of drama and issues.
God bless you and your mom, my mom was diagnosed with gallbladder cancer in Oct 2008 and we took her to a Mass General Hospial where she is receiving care. Unfortunately, her gallbladder was taken out at a local hospital and they didn't recognize that it was cancerous until the pathology report came back. They tried a resection at MGH but there is seeding in the abdomin and she is on Gemzar with little side effects, but she is now experiencing pain in her right thigh. She will not be going through any surgery. They are just trying to keep it at bay. In addition she has Lupus which is another problem and we believe has become active since being on Chemo. Good luck with you mom and thank you for the blog.
ReplyDeleteLynne,
If you ever want to contact me you can at lrobidoux@mitre.org